Bio

Writer & Artist, Michelle Grewe is an Air Force Veteran and mother. She is published in 6 anthologies and featured on websites such as Mamalode, Popsugar, Blunt Moms, and The Good Men Project. She writes humor and memoir about motherhood, spirituality and mental health. Her writing is inspired by Nicole Knepper and Jenny Lawson, and her illustrations are inspired by tattoos, henna and Zen doodles.

Graphic Artist

Over 20 years collective experience conjuring graphic design magic including printing presses and my local newspaper. Twelve years designing for the internet. 

Types of projects include business cards, brochures, flyers,  newsletters, book covers, ebook covers, greeting cards, t-shirts, advertisements, social media graphics, web banners, websites...

Other related experience includes typography (creating fonts), creating Photoshop paraphernalia (brushes, patterns, styles, shapes) and photography (selling stock photos online that have to have the quality of a professional). 


Writer

6 years experience as a published writer specializing in featured articles, blog posts, book chapters and content marketing. Topics include health, fitness, finance, business, marketing, fashion, beauty, sex, relationships, spirituality.

Internet writing experience also entails a good knowledge of SEO, staying up to date with internet trends, writing for quick reads, and web marketing at the heart of content. 


Marketing

Over 20 years collective marketing experience that includes direct sales, telemarketing, advertisement design and production, campaign planning, shoe-string marketing (marketing on the cheap), guerilla marketing (more in-depth), online advertising, social media, list building, drip emails, content marketing...

Semi-related education and experience include Psychology and Economics. Psychology helps me understand consumer behavior on an intimately Freudian level, and Economics helps me focus on the real goals (FYI, my utils as a human being never diminish; they hopscotch <<< nerd joke). 



My Resume




My Specialty Target Market

As a published author and blogger and influencer, I have the following readership who I've gotten know well throughout the last 10 years...

Basic Demographics

Women between the ages 35 and 55

Top Countries

US, Canada, UK, and Australia

Top Cities

New York, Chicago, Houston, San Antonio, LA, Philadelphia, San Diego, Las Vegas, and Tampa

Top Engaged Post Types

Humor, cute, compassion stories; video

Popular Categories

Motherhood, Humor, Politics, Business, Blogging

Trending Interests

Zombie Apocalypse, wine, cats, Yoga, skulls, dressing taxidermized varmint in cute outfits

Glad-Handering Facts About Michelle

Name: Mom, but you have to scream it like stepping on a tail of a female cat in heat. 

Mafia Name: The Godmother. Often called, "That Bitch Michelle." My fishes sleep with the fishes, and I orchestrate an annual houseplant massacre.   

Divorced after 13 years of marriage. Worst one night stand ever.  

Address: The place where the banjos play, just north of The Mothman. 

Religion: I pray to the Creator: Truth, Love, Forgiveness, Infinity, The Holy Trinity.

Spirit Animal: The Holy Spirit, sometimes in the form of a white lion, but generally He looks like air.  

Political Party: Facebook Ad Preferences thinks I'm a moderate. 

Horoscope Sign: Libra, the best. But it should be noted that studies fail to reject the null hypothesis when it comes to horoscopes.  

Song that Would Play as I Enter the WWE Ring: Hungry by Rob Bailey and The Hustle Standard 

Favorite movie genre: I like action movies. My favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard 2, and my favorite romance is Troy. My greatest fascination is epic battle scenes pre-invention of the gun. 

Favorite Drink: Diet Coke 

Favorite Grown Up Drink: White Russian  

Favorite Color: Light (all of them) 

Contact Me

The best way to reach me is my email: untouchable.cant.touch.this@gmail.com

You can also call OR TEXT at (304) 488-6289

If you wish to summon my spirit, you will need to build an altar and put Diet Coke, cigarettes, Dirty Harry movies, and some deep fried mozzarella sticks on it. If you're going to sacrifice a living animal, I prefer filet mignon with bearnaise sauce. Then softly chant lyrics by Nasir Jones or Tupac Shakur. It's really just easier to email or text. 
Resume | Portfolio | Blogging Blog

(c)2018, Michelle Grewe. All Rights Reserved
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